Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
