first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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