Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
