Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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