she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
