You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
