i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
