Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
