they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
