who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
