Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
