I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
