There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
