it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
