There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
