Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
