As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
