Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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