I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
