Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
