I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize