ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
