It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
