I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
