hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
