I'm eating all of the evidence.
is wine microwaveable?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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