; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
