i would punch a child for taco bell
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
