then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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