Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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