hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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