i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
