It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
