if i can run in heels then i can drive
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
