So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
