I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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