Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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