This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
