And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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