im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
