All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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