what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
