$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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