The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Damn victory sex feels great
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
