I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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