the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
