I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
