he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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