No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
