you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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