maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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