Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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