Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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