whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
