My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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