that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
