what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
