Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
